16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
