I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
