tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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