We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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