Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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