Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
