He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
