apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
