So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
