omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
