dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
