Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
