hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
