I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
