The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
