question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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