can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize