the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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