I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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