when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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