omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize