there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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