If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
