YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize