We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
