Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
