If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
