In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
