I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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