Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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