my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
