Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
