You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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