Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
