she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
