Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
How external is "for external use only"?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
