shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Two words: blizzard sex
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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