you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
