this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
