he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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