Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize