Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
