No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
