obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
