theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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