I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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