they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
