its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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