the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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