she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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