where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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