my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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