terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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