I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Don't make out with my wife yet
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
