It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
