New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize