He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
PANTIES FOUND
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
