i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
