sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
