You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
