we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
